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  • Prepping: No, not TP

    Sorry in advance for this, but I'm blaming the morbid sob's on here for the inspiration.

    My wife and I scheduled an estate planning appointment back before the bug broke out, unfortunately it didn't happen in time and has been postponed until things settle down. Meanwhile I've been thinking more than usual about it. The wife and I have had discussions on the matter over the years and have a pretty good idea of the other's wishes but things have certainly gotten much more real the last couple weeks.

    Today I'm reading where 80% of people in NYC going on ventilators don't make it, and those that do stand a good chance of having permanent lung damage. Talk about a Hail Mary. I have about 14 years on my wife so odds are she's going to be the one living with the choices we make. From what we've seen the past few years from losing older relatives it's far better to get this stuff settled sooner than later. Going to be some hard choices to make but it's for the best. Meantime we wait.

    Lots of talk about supply prep on here and how to get by, but if things went bad do you have your wills and health care proxies in order?

  • #2
    Yep. After dad's fiasco me & the mrs. went through it all again. All I'll add is WRITE IT DOWN. Even the the word of mouth that is known to all.

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    • #3
      One of my many former vocations was a law clerk, so yes I have taken care of my and my daughter's wills and power of attorney. You need to call a lawyer and get it done right. Do NOT have the lawyer as executor. Also NO joint executors. As my lawyer explained it is no good for the beneficiaries to all wind up hating each other. Having one person being the target is better than all of them against each other. Of course both instances are worse case scenarios. You and your wife will of course be executors for each other. The important question will be alternate executors and guardians for children. There can be some advantage to them not being the same person. Also some disadvantages. Discuss that with your lawyer. You should be able to iron it out with him/her over the phone but the wills need to be signed before witnesses and notary. Lawyer should be able to make safe arrangements for that. He/she will keep the will safe until it's needed. Make sure that kids and executors know where it is. Also, no one named in the will should be witnesses. And make sure signatory and witnesses sign at bottom of every page.

      You have kids. This should have been taken care of many years ago! Do not delay.

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      • #4
        Dewman: Sorry if this hit a little close to home, didn't mean to open any wounds.

        OHH: Our appointment is with a very good lawyer for this stuff. We did make up some basic wills years ago, with provisions for the kids, but our estate was simpler then. Executor and guardians won't change but the real estate and such needs addressing. Looking into trust situations as well.

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        • #5
          We have used living wills in the family and are satisfied with the way an Estate is handled.



          Check it out with a lawyer who specializes in living wills, not just any lawyer.

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          • #6
            Me and mine have already pretty much given everything over to the kids.
            They know who gets what.
            Right after that is the living will.
            The kids know what we want and don't want and what we expect.

            fitch270
            1) don't go to NYC
            2) refer to rule #1

            My wife worked with vents for nearly 30 years.
            Chances of survival are superb.
            With the COVID-19, I'd suggest immediately request hydroxychloroquine.
            I think your chances are better with the drug.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by fitch270 View Post
              Dewman: Sorry if this hit a little close to home, didn't mean to open any wounds.

              OHH: Our appointment is with a very good lawyer for this stuff. We did make up some basic wills years ago, with provisions for the kids, but our estate was simpler then. Executor and guardians won't change but the real estate and such needs addressing. Looking into trust situations as well.
              No worries. It was a good question to bring up in our present state. I've got a handle on it all. It's why I came back here so soon.👍

              Comment


              • #8
                FB, it was pure coincidence on the timing. This bug just gets you thinking things through more, kind of like getting hit by a semi in another country. No excuse for not getting it done earlier.

                No plans on going to NYC but NYC is coming to us. Weekenders are up in force, for the duration, and many won't stay "home".

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by fitch270 View Post
                  Dewman: Sorry if this hit a little close to home, didn't mean to open any wounds.

                  OHH: Our appointment is with a very good lawyer for this stuff. We did make up some basic wills years ago, with provisions for the kids, but our estate was simpler then. Executor and guardians won't change but the real estate and such needs addressing. Looking into trust situations as well.
                  Be sure that you understand the difference between joint tenancy and tenants in common. Avoid trusts. I explored that option because I was concerned my daughter wasn't mature enough to handle a lot of money. The trust managers would have gobbled up almost everything in fees in just a few years. All legally too. They take a healthy percentage right off the top to set it up. If the guardians and executor are separate they can keep an eye on each other.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by jhjimbo View Post
                    We have used living wills in the family and are satisfied with the way an Estate is handled.



                    Check it out with a lawyer who specializes in living wills, not just any lawyer.
                    Just about any lawyer who does wills (and almost all lawyers do wills - the ideal cash cow) is familiar with living wills. Fairly straightforward stuff.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Ontario Honker Hunter View Post

                      Just about any lawyer who does wills (and almost all lawyers do wills - the ideal cash cow) is familiar with living wills. Fairly straightforward stuff.
                      That is not the experience I have had.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ontario Honker Hunter View Post

                        Just about any lawyer who does wills (and almost all lawyers do wills - the ideal cash cow) is familiar with living wills. Fairly straightforward stuff.
                        I made a typo, I am referring to Trusts, not wills. Sorry.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by fitch270 View Post
                          FB, it was pure coincidence on the timing. This bug just gets you thinking things through more, kind of like getting hit by a semi in another country. No excuse for not getting it done earlier.

                          No plans on going to NYC but NYC is coming to us. Weekenders are up in force, for the duration, and many won't stay "home".
                          Manitoba put a stop to Winnipegers running to their cottages in NW Ontario. Provincial borders are closed to everything but essential traffic. That pretty much shut down the Trans Canada Highway to road trippers. Newfoundland also closed their borders. And their premiere says he will start charging kids cruising in cars and "hanging out" in groups in parking lots. And charging their parents too! Newfoundland was one of the first to charge and incarcerate infected who ignore quarantine. However, relatively speaking, compliance with preventative measures has been very good up here. I am impressed. Not surprising. Canada has a long history of people looking after each other. It is something we are very proud of.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by jhjimbo View Post

                            I made a typo, I am referring to Trusts, not wills. Sorry.
                            I explored setting up a trust through my bank. A giant ripoff! I think a trustworthy executor can be just as effective at administering an estate. The thing to keep in mind is administration fees (trust or executor) can gobble up an estate before the kids reach maturity. I saw that happen in one litigation case we handled at the firm. And that scoundrel was a lawyer! NEVER name a lawyer as executor. I am familiar with some of Fitch's family. Quality people. Should not be hard to find one of them to be alternate executor to take over in case both parents are gone. Again ONLY ONE. Do NOT name joint executors. That creates an opportunity for a HUGE mess.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Living Trusts have worked for us far beyond our expectations.

                              Comment

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