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Tonight, Thursday night are the Bears, Cardinals, Ducks and Sooners fighting it out on National TV? All four college football t

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  • Tonight, Thursday night are the Bears, Cardinals, Ducks and Sooners fighting it out on National TV? All four college football t

    Tonight, Thursday night are the Bears, Cardinals, Ducks and Sooners fighting it out on National TV? All four college football teams are ranked in the top ten by ESPN. Great Ready to Rumble and enjoy the games all! My question is does anybody have any good football or college jokes?

  • #2
    A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama on Saturday afternoon and everybody is watching the Alabama college football game on the large screen TV.

    The Yankee orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
    "No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire.

    Everybody in the bar is now staring at the Yankee with anger in their eyes and a mad face.
    "The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
    "I'm a taxidermist," says the man.
    The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."

    The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"


    • #3
      Halftime at the Arn Bowl, two guys at the urinal in a sports bar...

      Auburn student,"Say, you're from Bama, aren't you?"

      "Yes, how did you know?"

      "New haircut, clean shaven, new suit, new shoes, kind of sophisticated lookin..."

      Bama student: "You go to Auburn, don't you?"

      "Yes, how did you know?", expecting a similar compliment,

      Ah saw it on your class ring while you were picking yor nose!


      • #4
        The Oregon Ducks front defense of line stunk up the field last night and could not stop Stanford's running game.

        Two turnovers inside the five yard line and another turnover in the red zone hurt the offense.

        Congrats to Stanford, they played great.

        Now, there four undefeated teams.
        1. Alabama
        2. Florida State
        3. Ohio State
        4. Baylor


        • #5
          Stanford showed the world whut it takes to beat the Dux...

          They ran out onto the field and concentrated on beating the sheeit out of them.

          Thet's Bama's game.

          Only they're even bigger and meaner.


          • #6
            That team from Waco Texas, the Baylor Bears smoked the Oklahoma Sooners in the second half.
            The first half both defenses looked pretty damn good.
            It reminds me of those pro teams from the past when the Steelers/Ravens were knocking the hell out of each other.


            • #7
              A recent Auburn grad gets a job and rushes right out and gets a chain saw at the local dry goods store.

              The clerk guarantees it will cut two cords of hardwood per day.

              The Auburnite comes back the next day looking really beat, complaining that it only cut one cord.

              The clerk advises him to go back and try it again.

              So he comes back looking totally exhausted and ragged and says, "nothing doing. I stayed out until after dark and still cut only one cord."

              "Let'see", said the clerk as he pulled the starter rope and the little two-stroke roared to life.

              The Auburn grad angrily demands, "What's that noise!"


              • #8
                Funny one woof plus one!

                Be careful, because number seven ranked Auburn still has to play Alabama this year.
                Don't upset the Auburn Tigers by poking the stick at their cage with your funny jokes.

                Number 13th ranked LSU tigers play your Bama team next and number 13 could be an unlucky number for the Tide.
                Just remember woof, tigers are meat eaters. lol



                • #9
                  Gary -

                  Ah nose.

                  Ennything kin happen vs LSU and Aurbun!


                  • #10
                    Gary there is 6 teams undefeated left but the four that you brought up are the ones competing for a championship
                    2.Florida State It pains me to say that!
                    3.Ohio State
                    5.Fresno State
                    6.Northern Illinois


                    • #11
                      Gary there is 6 teams undefeated left but the four that you brought up are the ones competing for a championship
                      2.Florida State It pains me to say that!
                      3.Ohio State
                      5.Fresno State
                      6.Northern Illinois


                      • #12
                        You guys sure do get excited over a bunch of guys running around in tights kicking balls.


                        • #13
                          Gator, you are very observant and thank you for making that correction. I only checked the top fifteen rated teams and assume they were only four unbeaten teams.

                          Ranked number 17 Fresno State Bulldogs are 8-0 and ranked number 22 Northern Illinois Huskies are 9-0.
                          Thank you for that corrected point of information.

                          1. What the difference between the Tennessee football and Cheerios?
                          A: One belongs in a bowl and the other doesn’t.

                          2. What do you get when you cross a Georgia Bulldog and a pig?
                          A: Nothing. There are some things that a pig will not do.

                          3. Did you hear about the fire in Louisiana State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
                          A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

                          4. How do you get an Auburn student off your porch?
                          A. Pay him for the pizza he just delivered!

                          5. Why don't they have Christmas at Florida State University?
                          A: They can't find a virgin and three wise men.

                          6. What's the difference between a Florida Gators fan and a carp?
                          A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.


                          • #14
                            7. Why do Arkansas Razorbacks put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?
                            A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

                            8. What should you do if you find three Alabama football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
                            A: Get more cement.

                            9. What do you say when you see a Bowling Green grad in a suit?
                            A: Will the defendant please rise!

                            10. Do you know why the Duke University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
                            A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

                            11. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Lawrence, Kansas?
                            A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

                            12. Q: How do you compliment a University Of Kentucky fan?
                            A: Nice tooth.

                            13: How do you kill a Michigan Wolverine?
                            A: Put it in an arena against a Spartan.


                            • #15
                              Two Auburn med students working for an emergency ambulance service company during summer break, answered a near drowning call at a local lake. Upon arriving at the seen they saw a comatose person pulled half out of the lake. One med student knelt down and started to blow into the comatose person's mouth, then rest, then blow, then rest etc. Meanwhile the other student proceeded to put weight on the chest, letup and move the arms, repeating the cycle over and over while sometimes getting a little water out of comatose person's mouth. Another person, who just happened to be driving by the scene and was curious about the goings on, stopped and watched for a few minutes. Eventually the bystander asked the two med students just what they were doing. One of the emergency technicians replied,"We are saving this person's life". The bystander just said "oh". After watching for a few more minutes the bystander asked them the same question again and this time the other emergency technician answered and said "We are two med students from Auburn and are trying to save this person's life!" Then the bystander proclaimed in a stern voice "Well, I am a Alabama Engineering student currently studying hydrodynamics and if you do not pull that person far enough up the bank to get the lower part of his alimentary canal out of the water, you are merely going to pump the lake dry".




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