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Anybody got a good anecdote? I'm talking about those campfire stories you tell everytime, but they still crack ribs (at least yo

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  • Anybody got a good anecdote? I'm talking about those campfire stories you tell everytime, but they still crack ribs (at least yo

    Anybody got a good anecdote? I'm talking about those campfire stories you tell everytime, but they still crack ribs (at least yours)

  • #2
    Two hikers are walking through the woods.
    Suddenly they come upon a bear.
    One of the hikers sits down and starts to put on a pair of running shoes.
    The other hiker says , "You can't outrun that bear."
    The first hiker replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you!"

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    • #3
      Two blonds are walking through the woods when they come upon a set of tracks. The first says, "Look, deer tracks!" The second says, "No, you idiot, those are moose tracks!"

      They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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      • #4
        So this guy is telling me a story: "I don't know what you carry, but i was out hiking one day with my girlfriend when we came upon a sow and her 3 cubs. She started to charge, and all I have to say is i'm glad i had my .32 Beretta. I put one slug into my girlfriend's knee and took off!

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        • #5
          A guy was fishing with dynamite.
          Out came the game warden in a boat.
          He told joe he had told him before not to fish with dynamite.
          Joe lit a stick and handed it to the game warden and said "you gonna talk or fish"

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          • #6
            An old timer was panning for gold with his pet bear Ozzie.
            One day he headed out first and got to the river. After a while a bear came next to him and he shouted at him and swatted him with his hat - you old sob, 'bout time you got here.
            When time for lunch he quit and went back to the cabin-there was Ozzie sound asleep.

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            • #7
              This one i heard at deer camp in michigan. they swear it is a true story.
              A guy shot a big 12 point and had his buddy take a picture of him with the deer right after the deer went down. the guy set the 30-30 across the horns for the picture. you guessed it, the deer jumped up and took off with the rifle still on the antlers.

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              • #8
                I really like the third one jhjimbo!

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                • #9
                  A three legged dog walks into a bar and says.....I'm looking for the man who shot my Paw!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I read this story thirty years ago in a popular hunting magazine. I can't remember if it was true or false. A hunter goes inside a tavern, and walks up to four other hunters who are sitting at the bar that are half drunk. The hunter asked the four guys where the best place to hunt for a nice whitetail buck? One of the four men said go out to the city limits sign, and sit underneath of it. The hunter thanked them and went over to the city limits sign. The four guys all started to laugh, and one said that idiot will be hunting on the road shoulder of a four lane highway. Two hours later the hunter returned with a state record buck on his vehicle roof, and thanked the four hunters who were already drunk.

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                    • #11
                      A hunter spots a small brown bear and shoots it. Before he can inspect his trophy ha feels a tap on his shoulder turns around and is face to face with a big black bear. 'You've got two choices,' says the bear. 'I maul you, or we have s#x. The guy decides to take it from the bear. Afrter recovering for a couple of weeks he returns to the same woods seeks out the big black and kills him with one shot. Just then he feels another tap on his shoulder and turns to see a 10 foot grizzly standing over him.
                      'Admit it,' says the bear. 'You don't come here for the hunting , do you?'

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                      • #12
                        A Man from texas that had made million off of his oil company. One day one of his oil rigs caught fire and blew up. After calling in all the best, big heavy duty fire equipment he could find. None of the trucks could get close enough to put out the fire. Finally, in despair he called in the po-dunk volunteer fire department. When they got there they zoomed right by all the hi-tech fire equipment in there 1947 fire truck headed straight toward the center of the fire. After they put the fire out, the millionaire was so happy that he gave them $10,000 to reward them for there bravery. When the volunteer fire department was asked what they would do with the money they said "Well, the first thing we are going to do is fix those lousy brakes."

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                        • #13
                          There was a man named Cletus that lived in a small town with only one traffic light. Cletus had saved up his money and bought a mo-ped. One day Cletus was at the light waiting for it to turn green when a shiny new Corvette convertible pulled up next to him. Cletus had never seen anything like this in his life. The Corvette had its top down so Cletus leans over the side of the car and starts checking out the interior. This annoys the driver of the vette so when the light turns green he steps on the gas, laying down rubber as he leaves the intersection. He gets up to 60mph when suddenly Cletus flies by him on his mo-ped. The driver of the vette says to himself "This clown wants to race". Shifting into 4th gear he steps on the gas again. He leaves Cletus in his dust as he gets up to 100mph. Then out of nowhere he sees Cletus coming up fast in his rear view mirror. He can't believe it as Cletus flies by him again on his mo-ped. The driver of the vette shifts into 6th gear and floors it. He passes Cletus and gets up to 150mph! Once again, Cletus passes him like he's standing still. Shocked, the driver of the vette pulls over to the side of the road. He hears gravel flying and brakes squalling as Cletus pulls up next to him. The driver of the vette congratulates Cletus on winning the race and asks him what kind of an engine he has in his mo-ped. Puzzled Cletus replied "Race? I was just trying to get my suspenders off of your side-view mirror."

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                          • #14
                            Well there was these two good old boys from the city who decided to go fishing. They dug up a can of worms and loaded up a couple cane poles then headed out to find a place to fish. After a few hours of driving they reached a river that that was known for good fishing. They stopped at a country store and got directions to a fishing camp that rented small wooden fishing skiffs and promptly went there and rented a skiff. As luck would have it, they happened to get right over a submerged tree top that had a big crappie bed. They caught their limit and were very happy. One fella says to the other, we have had so much fun today, I think we need to come back again next week. His buddy says I agree but just how are we going to find this good fishing hole again? So the first fella takes out his jack knife and carves a big "X" fight into the side of the boat. His buddy says what was that for? The other guy says I just marked the spot where we caught the fish. Then his buddy starts to laugh and says,"That is the dumbest thing I have ever seen, just how in the world do you know that we will get the same boat next time? "

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                            • #15
                              knock knock
                              who's there
                              centapede
                              centapede who
                              santa peed on the chirstmas tree

                              no offense santa

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