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Since the oil spill has put me out of work, I came up to my hunting camp to do some chores but there is a heat wave going on. I

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  • Since the oil spill has put me out of work, I came up to my hunting camp to do some chores but there is a heat wave going on. I

    Since the oil spill has put me out of work, I came up to my hunting camp to do some chores but there is a heat wave going on. I have three thermometers, all in the shade on the north side of the house and they read 108, 106 and 104. Needless to say, I'm not getting any work done outside. Now, tell me---HOW HOT IS IT? We all know about the female fox in a forest fire, but tell me more.

  • #2
    Not fuuny today but years ago, "Hotter my britches on report card day".

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    • #3
      hot enough to make your kneecaps sweat?

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      • #4
        It's too hot! This time of the year I'll carry a couple of cool gel bandanas and bags of diced cantalope in my ice cheast. I can tie teh bandanas around my neck or head and much on the sweet cantalope to help cool down my core. Take plenty of breaks, you sure dont want to over do it and suffer a heat stroke. Take care CR!

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        • #5
          I's Hot as Hell on The Fourth of July.

          And now it's polluted and going to get much worse upon landfall of the first hurricane.

          Sure am glad came here (Washington).

          It's 61 degrees right now.

          Our water comes from a mountain spring, and it's cool, clear, and FREE.

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          • #6
            It’s so hot; the squirrels are handling their nuts with potholders.

            Or the one my Australian friends tell me..

            It’s a Sara Palin day, dangerously hot in the high 40's or low 50's (Celsius), dry and very windy with a high haze...

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            • #7
              Hotter than a Junebug in a Coleman lantern where I've been for the last few weeks.

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              • #8
                I can't think of a "hotter than" joke that would be appropriate.

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                • #9
                  It was so hot this afternoon I left the hunting camp and drove back out the highway to check the road signs to make sure I hadn't taken a wrong turn and ended up in Hell.

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                  • #10
                    It was so hot today that I didn't go outside...and complain. Instead I stayed inside and enjoyed mounting a life-size elk in 40 deg. In Alabama mind you.

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                    • #11
                      blackdawgz
                      Hell Ain’t So Hot
                      A man dies and goes to Hell where he is greeted by the devil:
                      Devil: Hey, whatcha lookin so down for?
                      Man: If you died and went to Hell, you'd be feeling down too!
                      Devil: Hell ain't what you think it is. It's fun down here. Say, do you drink?
                      Man: Sure, I love to drink. Why?
                      Devil: Well, you''re gonna love Mondays then. Because on Mondays, all we do here is drink. Hell, we have whiskey, tiquila, rum, vodka, all the booze you wanna drink. We drink til we puke and then we drink some more.
                      Man: Ahhhh, that sounds great.
                      Devil: Do you smoke?
                      Man: D#%n right I do.
                      Devil: Cool! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world. Smoke all you want. You don''t have to worry about getting cancer because you''re already dead anyways, haha.
                      Man: No s#%t!
                      Devil: You like gambling?
                      Man: Hell yeah!
                      Devil: Great! On Wednesdays, we have gambling night here in Hell. We have slot machines, roulette, craps, black jack, hold-em, a dog track, horse racing, you name it we got it and we just recently opened up a new pai gow poker table.
                      Man: Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I never played pai gow poker before.
                      Devil: Now you can. You like to get stoned?
                      Man: I love getting stoned! You mean...
                      Devil: That''s right man, because on Thursdays, it's stoner night here in Hell! Help yourself to a huge bowl of crack, smoke a joint the size of a nuclear sub, do all the drugs you want and you don''t have to worry about overdosing because you''re already dead anyhow.
                      Man: Awesome! I never thought Hell was one swinging place!
                      Devil: Are you gay?
                      Man: Uhhhh, no...
                      Devil: Oooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!!!
                      Just a little humor and I hope I didn't offend anybody!!!

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                      • #12
                        Rudy, that has me dying laughing.

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                        • #13
                          Rudyglove:

                          Thank you.

                          The biggest thing I miss about the South is that few people here appreciate this kind of humor.

                          Life's too easy, I guess.

                          So I'll share one...

                          An ole boy retires and spends all his savings on half a mountain in upstate New York.

                          Bought it in the Winter.

                          Soon as it thawed, a mountain man comes riding up on his hoss.

                          His buckskins are dirty and greasy, like the mounaineer, and he's about 6'5" and 300 lbs.

                          Says he, "Couldn't get around to greeting you, but there's gonna be a party at my place next week."

                          "Sounds good, been sorta lonely. Tell me about it."

                          "All the regular Rendezvous stuff. Singing, dancing, drinking, dancin' 'round the campfire."

                          "Sounds good."

                          "Gonna be a whole lotta fuggin' and fightin', too."

                          "Oh, yeah? Who's gonna be there?"

                          "Just me and you!"

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                          • #14
                            Skeeb,
                            Thanks man...When do you graduate from High School??
                            blackdawgz,
                            Your Welcome!!!
                            You crack me up..LMAO!!!

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                            • #15
                              country road,
                              1) It was so hot today that I saw a chicken lay a fried egg..
                              2) It was so hot today that Bill Clinton got a slurpee and then went to 7/11..
                              3) It was so hot today that potatoes cook underground and all you have to do is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper..
                              4) It was so hot today that Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs..
                              5) It was so hot today that I burn my tongue telling it??
                              6) It was so hot today that you instantly break a sweat when you step outside at 7:30 a.m. this morning..







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