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Anyone have any great hunting jokes.

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  • Anyone have any great hunting jokes.

    Anyone have any great hunting jokes.

  • #2
    Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.

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    • #3
      A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess; let him get himself out of it."

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      • #4
        it was the national poetry contest and it came down between two, a yale graduate and a hillbilly. they were giving the word Timbuktu and 2 minutes to make up a poem to win the contest. the yale graduate thought for a second and slowly said: " slowly cross the desert sands trekked a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two destination Timbuktu."
        the crowd went wild there was no way the hillbilly could top that. the hillbilly picked up the microphone and said: " me and tim a huntin we went met three gals in a pop up tent they was three and we was two so i bucked one and Timbuktu. everyone was speechless needless to say the hillbilly won

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        • #5
          it was the national poetry contest and it came down between two, a yale graduate and a hillbilly. they were giving the word Timbuktu and 2 minutes to make up a poem to win the contest. the yale graduate thought for a second and slowly said: " slowly cross the desert sands trekked a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two destination Timbuktu."
          the crowd went wild there was no way the hillbilly could top that. the hillbilly picked up the microphone and said: " me and tim a huntin we went met three gals in a pop up tent they was three and we was two so i bucked one and Timbuktu. everyone was speechless needless to say the hillbilly won

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          • #6
            What is the difference between a City Zoo and a Country Zoo?

            In a City Zoo the name of the animal is on the cage.

            In a Country Zoo Recipe is on the cage.

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            • #7
              Sorry "the Recipe"

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              • #8
                The Colorado Game Authority officials are warning hunters to be especially on the alert for grizzly bears this year.
                They suggest wearing little bells to warn bears of their presence so as not to take them by surprise. They also suggest carrying pepper spray to ward off a possible attack.
                Hunters should also learn to recognize grizzly bear droppings.
                They contain little bells and smell of pepper spray.

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                • #9
                  Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!" Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet anymore!"

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                  • #10
                    My-T humorous!

                    Reckon Ah don't know enny chokes clean enough to post...

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                    • #11
                      Teacher: "Little Johnny, if there are five birds on a fence and you shoot one, how many are left?”
                      Little Johnny: “None, the others would fly away.”
                      Teacher: “The answer is four, but I like the way you think.”
                      Little Johnny: “I have a question for you Miss. There are three women eating ice cream cones, one licking, one biting and one sucking. Which one is married?”
                      Teacher nervously answers: “The one sucking…?”
                      Little Johnny: “The answer is the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think.”

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                      • #12
                        No griz in Colorado.....nor a game authority...

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                        • #13
                          Safado, I like the way you think...

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                          • #14
                            Two guys were hunting and one accidently shot the other. He rushed him to the hospital. The Dr. came out of the emergency room and the hunter asked him if his buddy was going to make it. The Dr. paused for a moment and said he probably would have if he wouldn't have field dressed him first.

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                            • #15
                              Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural Alabama on the opening day of dear season. They both spotted a large buck coming towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until it was past. Of course by then, the deer was long gone.

                              The other hunter exclaimed "Wow! That was the most sportsmanlike act I've ever seen! You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!"

                              The first hunter nodded and said; "Well, out of respect, we were married for 42 years".

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